I Can Beat Up 20 Five Year Olds! (…in theory)

How Many Five Year Olds Could You Take in a FIGHT

Many a night I sit on my front porch, pipe in hand, and gaze up into the night sky and ponder some of the mysteries of this world. What would a turtle say if it could cuss? What could I do with a sixth finger? If I saved a midgit from a black hole, would he be taller? And though I may never know the answer to these questions I recently came across a new quandary that actually might be answered. The question proposed is; If you were swarmed by a mob of raging five year old kids, how many could you take down? Want to know the answer, then go to www.howmanyfiveyearoldscouldyoutakeinafight.com and take a fun survey that explores both your ability (and willingness) to beat up attacking five year olds …all in self-defense, of course.

I took this survey and here are my results:


Think you could do any better? Want to know what else you may be able to beat up? The site also offers another survey where you can find out how many 90 year old people you could beat up in a fight. Right now, before I even try (the survey…) I’m guessing 35… At least 30. We’ll see. There are several other unique surveys and questions on this site, give them a try and have some fun while letting your imagination float free.

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  1. What? I can take 28.

    More if I get a smallish one by the leg early on.

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