Five Things I Learned From Watching Road House

RH Title

Was anyone really paying attention to the title?

Hey El Moochadors. I started this post awhile ago, but had to put it on the back burner (seems like I only ever have time for a quick regurge and that’s about it). Recently though, I had to close my Netflix account, and since this was one of the last movies I got out of my queue, I thought I should finish the post. I have to say though, as cheesy as Road House was, I kind of liked it. I had never really seen it before, or at least I thought I hadn’t. The scene where the smoking hot blonde chick strips seemed really familiar… I guess if there’s a scene to remember, it’s that one. Anyhow, as I was watching it, I thought there were some great life lessons the film had to offer, things I felt I could apply to my own life at least, and I’ll list them below:

1. Be the best at what you do.

The whole reason Dalton (Swayze) got the job offer, the respect of a many bar flies, the nice car, and the smoking hot blonde chick, was because he was the best “Cooler” around. I’m not sure what the fuck a Cooler does other than manage bouncers, but what ever they do, Dalton was the best at it. Obviously, I think this applies to more than just Coolers. For example, if some how I can bust my ass and work to be the best Graphic Designer in my area, the maybe I’ll get better job offers, the respect of bar flies, a nice car, and maybe a smoking hot chick too. Right now all I get is job offers to touch up fliers and T-shirts, a 2001 Mazda Protege, and a stretched out tube sock every Saturday night… I need to work harder…

2. When someone offers you a job, be a dick.

Seemed to work for Dalton when he was offered the job at the beginning of the film to act like a dick. Hey, he’s the best and he knows it. He’s doing this guy a favor by going down to Kansas to clean up his bar, and dammit, he’s going to set the terms, and if the dude doesn’t like it, he can go fuck himself. Alright, maybe I’m not the best yet, but I feel I definitely should show more confidence when I’m in a interview or talking with a client. Couldn’t hurt to try…

3. Treat women in a  similar manner as point #2.

When I mind-boggling hot blonde girl with amazing tits offers to fuck you, blow her off. Seemed to work for Dalton. Of course he never did anything with that chick, but still, you got the feeling he could’ve. Again, maybe if I should a little more confidence with women, took more of an attitude, I’d have better luck… and wouldn’t spend so much money on tube socks.

How the fuck do you get to a level of self confidence to blow that chick off???

4. Be NICE!

Alright, I know this contradicts the last two points, but it’s what Dalton said to do. Maybe this only applies with people who’s face you’re about to use to bust apart a table? Kind of like you’re giving them every chance to change their fate. I dunno…?

5. Only rip out a person’s throat when you absolutely have to.

The preferred method of dispatching an opponent...

“A man puts a gun in yer face, you got two choices- stand there ‘n die or kill the motherfucker!” so said the wise Wade Garrett (Sam Elliott). Yup, and Dalton only used the eagle-claw-three-fingered-death-throat-rip move once in the film. The second time he withheld… I’m not sure why, ’cause that mother fucker seemed to deserve it more… Maybe this one falls under point number four, but either way I promise from this day forward I’ll only rip out a throat when I feel it’s absolutely necessary. Like when someone is in the check out line ahead of you, bitching that the store doesn’t carry a certain brand of bran cereal, and wasting precious minutes of your life…. Now there’s a mother fucker who deserves it.

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2 Comments

  1. So what did you learn from Dirty Dancing?

    Hey, did you see the post I did? You could save it for a slow news day, maybe.

  2. Um… yeah, that’s one I’ll never admit to seeing…

    Anyhow, yeah, I just read that post, and had Trog shoot you off an email to see if you were done with it. Let us know if you are and I’ll post it.

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